"Cast away" your sins at Tashlich Potluck Picnic

The ritual of “casting away” our sins will take place at the traditional Tashlich Potluck Picnic at One Mile in Bidwell Park at 5 p.m. on Thursday, September 25, the first day of Rosh Hashanah. Meet at the One Mile Bridge.

CBI will provide water, and paper and plastic goods. Attendees will bring:

• A main dish, salad, fruit, or dessert to share. As usual, the food will need to be free of meat and shellfish.

• Any drinks you want other than water.

• Your own non-disposable place settings and/or water bottles, if wanted.

If you can provide a helping hand (or have any questions), please contact Loretta Steinke.

Note: While normally we symbolically cast our sins away by throwing bread into the water, taking a few crumbs from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. Instead, this year consider these alternatives:

For ordinary sins, use white bread

For exotic sins, French bread

For particularly dark sins, pumpernickel

For complex sins, multi-grain

For twisted sins, pretzels

For tasteless sins, rice cakes

For sins of indecision, waffles

For sins committed in haste, matzah

For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes, shmurah matzah

For sins of chutzpah, fresh bread

For substance abuse, poppy seed

For committing arson, toast

For committing auto theft, caraway

For being ill tempered, sourdough

For silliness, nut bread

For not giving full value, shortbread

For jingoism, Yankee Doodles

For excessive use of irony, rye bread

For telling bad jokes, corn bread

For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts

For being money hungry, enriched bread or raw dough

For war-mongering, Kaiser Rolls

For immodest dressing, tarts

For causing injury or damage to others, tortes

For promiscuity, Hot Buns

For racism, crackers

For sophisticated racism, Ritz crackers

For davvening off tune, flat bread

For being holier than thou, bagels

For unfairly upbraiding another, challah

For indecent photography, cheesecake

For trashing the environment, dumplings

For sins of laziness, any very long loaf

For sins of pride, puff pastry

For lying, baked goods with NutraSweet and Olestra

For wearing tasteless hats, Tam Tams

For the sins of the righteous, angel food cake

For selling your soul, Devil’s Food cake

For lust in your heart, Wonder Bread

For inhaling, stoned wheat

Remember, you don't have to show your crumbs to anyone.

(With thanks to an anonymous web poster.)